First Reading (Acts 9:26-31). Three years after his conversion Paul went up to Jerusalem. At first the disciples were afraid of the ex-persecutor. Only when Barnabas introduced him to the apostles did they accept him. However, when he began to preach, the Hellenists (Greek-speaking Jews) turned on him and sought to kill him; in their eyes he was a traitor. The result was that he had to be smuggled out of the city. The fact that Paul took all these trials in his stride shows the depth of his faith in Jesus.

Second Reading (I John 3:18 -24). Here John tells us what we have to do in order to be at rights with God. We have to believe in his Son, Jesus, and love one another as he told us. Active charity is what distinguishes true Christians from those who are such in name only. Love is what makes them fruitful branches of Christ, the true vine.

• Before Sunday morning (as usual)
• Saturday 4th of May before Mass
• Before Friday morning Mass

• Your initials and name
• If you normally pay via the envelope system then please quote your envelope number
• The word “collection”

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance levels. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile.

The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering, the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.

After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team.

So as race day neared again the following year, the American's team management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

The next year, the Japanese won by TWO miles!

Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem

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Three Wishes

Three women are stuck on an island. One day, they're walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."

The first woman says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home." POOF! She gets her wish and is returned to her family.

Then, the second woman says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too." POOF! She gets her wish and is returned to her family.

The third woman starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"

The woman whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."

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Hearing Aid...

An elderly gentleman had had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor who was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids.

The gentleman went back after a month and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"